I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
