the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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