Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
