the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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