I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
