I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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