Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
