I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize