shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
