By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
it glows. i had to have it.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
