Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
