I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
