I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize