shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Walk of Shame today included voting.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
He called his prostate his "boner button".
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
