That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
