In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
