K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
