im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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