my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
