he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
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