In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
