i don't like sucking hair
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
