Can i not drive my cunt home
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
