but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
