Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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