I just pynch a tree in the face
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
