Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Randomize
