i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
