i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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