the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
