I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
and she was petting her beer can
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
