Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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