So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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