Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
