So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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