Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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