yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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