my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
