she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
