Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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