I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize