I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I could make wine with my vomit
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
