maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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