So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
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