so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
