I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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