OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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