Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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