Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
