Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
