Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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