ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
My dick has a subreddit
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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