white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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