I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
