You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
