Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
