i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
