We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
