I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
And the cops told us we were all naked.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
