I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
